Happy Monday friends!!
Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!
This weekend I accomplished something that I never thought I could.
Yesterday my husband and I completed our first half marathon.
What did we place you ask? Dead last.
For us this journey wasn't about winning or what time we finished,
It was about starting and finishing together....
And that is exactly what we did.
In order for you to understand how much this race meant to me I think
I should share a little bit of my history when it comes to me and my
self esteem.....
When I was growing up I was that funny over weight girl that was
friends with everyone, but also that kid that was constantly made fun
of and at times my life wasn't all fun in games, especially in my
adolescent years....
I have struggled with my weight ever since I can remember and still do so
to this very day....
During my junior year of high school I wrote my mom a note asking for
help with my weight... I was to embarrassed to do it face to face for fear
of disappointing her. So she took me to a local nutritionist and finally I
was on my way to a healthier, thinner me.... But inside I remained the same.
Losing the sixty pounds wasn't easy and came slowly but I did it and I
kept it off right up until I had my two babies. I gained sixty pounds with
both of them and when I gave birth to my son JJ I was a whopping 210lbs.,
full of self doubt and anger. I was angry at myself because I wasn't
that mom that stayed thin through her pregnancy with only the "baby belly".
I was angry because I was uneasy in my own skin and felt like a failure as
a wife and a person....
Now, this may seem like a bit much but for someone who has struggled
with her weight all her life, but little things like this affected me big time.
I felt like I had to start all over again like that teenage girl asking her mom
for help.... This time I had to do it all on my own and essentially start all
over... The starting over part has happened so many times. I stay on track
for a while and then fall off and start over and it's a never ending cycle....
It is such a mind game and starting over and over and giving up was getting
me no where fast...
So back to the half marathon.... This new year I didn't declare another New
Year's resolution. I just promised myself that I would start again on this
weight loss journey for me. No one else but me. And Jan 1st that is just
what I did. I thought to myself "Lisa, you have already lost fifty pounds
since JJ was born, you can do this and loose the last thirty."
I kept reminding myself that I would start this time and finish. I may loose
my footing here and there but I would not give up. And I'm not...
This race was huge for me because I made it through. I cried, I bitched,
I tripped (literally) and thought about giving up toward the end, but I stayed
in the game and my loving husband was with me the entire way....
Now that I accomplished something many people wouldn't even think of
doing and I myself doubted, I know I can get through this later part of
this weight loss journey that I feared having to do so many times.
Getting started is the easy part.... Staying with the journey to the very end
is the hardest part... We may have come in dead last in this race but I know
in my heart, all that matters is that we finished.
It can be done. As long as you believe...
I hope this post motivates you to so something you never thought you
could or to just go out and try something new....
"Life's a climb, but the view is great" ~ Miley Cyrus
Have a great week friends!!
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