It Can be Done {my first half marathon}

Happy Monday friends!!

 

Hope you all had a wonderful weekend!

 

This weekend I accomplished something that I never thought I could.

 

Yesterday my husband and I completed our first half marathon.

 

What did we place you ask? Dead last.

 

For us this journey wasn't about winning or what time we finished,

 

It was about starting and finishing together....

 

And that is exactly what we did.

 

In order for you to understand how much this race meant to me I think

 

I should share a little bit of my history when it comes to me and my

 

self esteem.....

 

When I was growing up I was that funny over weight girl that was

 

friends with everyone, but also that kid that was constantly made fun

 

of and at times my life wasn't all fun in games, especially in my

 

adolescent years....

 

I have struggled with my weight ever since I can remember and still do so

 

to this very day....

 

During my junior year of high school I wrote my mom a note asking for

 

help with my weight... I was to embarrassed to do it face to face for fear

 

of disappointing her. So she took me to a local nutritionist and finally I

 

was on my way to a healthier, thinner me.... But inside I remained the same.

 

Losing the sixty pounds wasn't easy and came slowly but I did it and I

 

kept it off right up until I had my two babies. I gained sixty pounds with

 

both of them and when I gave birth to my son JJ I was a whopping 210lbs.,

 

full of self doubt and anger. I was angry at myself because I wasn't

 

that mom that stayed thin through her pregnancy with only the "baby belly".

 

I was angry because I was uneasy in my own skin and felt like a failure as

 

a wife and a person....

 

Now, this may seem like a bit much but for someone who has struggled

 

with her weight all her life, but little things like this affected me big time.

 

I felt like I had to start all over again like that teenage girl asking her mom

 

for help.... This time I had to do it all on my own and essentially start all

 

over... The starting over part has happened so many times. I stay on track

 

for a while and then fall off and start over and it's a never ending cycle....

 

It is such a mind game and starting over and over and giving up was getting

 

me no where fast...

 

So back to the half marathon.... This new year I didn't declare another New

 

Year's resolution. I just promised myself that I would start again on this

 

weight loss journey for me. No one else but me. And Jan 1st that is just

 

what I did. I thought to myself "Lisa, you have already lost fifty pounds

 

since JJ was born, you can do this and loose the last thirty."

 

I kept reminding myself that I would start this time and finish. I may loose

 

my footing here and there but I would not give up. And I'm not...

 

This race was huge for me because I made it through. I cried, I bitched,

 

I tripped (literally) and thought about giving up toward the end, but I stayed

 

in the game and my loving husband was with me the entire way....

 

Now that I accomplished something many people wouldn't even think of

 

doing and I myself doubted, I know I can get through this later part of

 

this weight loss journey that I feared having to do so many times.

 

Getting started is the easy part.... Staying with the journey to the very end

 

is the hardest part... We may have come in dead last in this race but I know

 

in my heart, all that matters is that we finished.

 

It can be done. As long as you believe...

 

 

 

 

I hope this post motivates you to so something you never thought you

 

could or to just go out and try something new....

 

"Life's a climb, but the view is great"  ~ Miley Cyrus

 

Have a great week friends!!

 

 

Tuesday Inspo {closing thought}

Happy Tuesday friends....

 

I'm stopping in with some Tuesday inspiration.

 

Tuesday seems to be the hardest day of the week for me. I'm not sure why,

 

 but I kind of believe it could be all in my head, its just something about

 

the second day of the week that just isn't motivating to me....

 

I found this quote to be inspiring and it is getting me through my Tuesday

 

so I thought I would share....

 

source

 

Enjoy the rest of your Tuesday and I'll be back tomorrow

 

with another Wednesday wish list....

 

 

 

Just DO It... Mind Over Matter....

The last few days have not been very productive for me. The office is painted and I am just waiting for the furniture to arrive.... In the mean time my home looks like a storage rental space and it kinda drives me CRAZY!! So I'm sitting at the computer browsing on Pinterest and I came across this.
It's a post by a great blogger Taralynn. It was just what I needed to hear. With all that has been going on (parties, long work days, sick children) it's been hard to stay on track with my new years resolution and taking care of myself and getting back in shape....It's been so hard to "talk" myself into working out and I just need to put my mind to it and JUST DO IT!!!! I know I will be happy I did!! So if your in a rut, just put your mind to it and you will get it done!! MIND OVER MATTER!!
~Happy Sunday!!

                                                         source

Reality......The unforgivng MOTIVATION

It's amazing how time flies....even though some time has past I'm stuck in this painful "reality". My son will be two months old on August 4th and I am no closer to my "ideal" body weight. I can honestly say that I have been trying, but I have such a long road ahead that I fear I will loose focus and give up....
Yesterday was one of my good friends wedding day...A day that was (supposed) to be an all out happy, fun day was far more upsetting for me. It was a beautiful day and the bride looked absolutely GORGEOUS as did my fellow bridesmaids....... I came upon a picture of myself and the wedding party and I could just cry. Every time I saw my reflection I shuttered.... Such a cruel reality to finally realize that my weight has taken over my life once again.... I have put on 50lbs with my second child that will take me over a year to take off and that reality is just to much to bear knowing that I have to face the world each day at this most unattractive weight..... I fear what others think of me and I am not the person I want to be and who I know I am deep down inside.
I am much to familiar with this type of "pain" growing up a heavy little girl with a beautiful face.... When I finally did take charge of my weight I always feared deep down that one day I would gain all that weight back......And now that is my painful reality. I fear my struggle will continue to take me down..... The finish line feels so far away, yet I know it will creep up to me.
So now it's time to face my fear head on. As sad as it is I'm more concerned as to how the world view's me at this weight....I feel judged at every moment and it was so hard for me to walk down a long church isle with eyes on my large figure. I simply just smiled and pretended that I was the skinny girl walking down the isle on my own wedding day...... I didn't even dance or have as much fun because I just felt like the "fat girl" in the room. It's crazy to me because I am a grown thirty something woman with a loving husband and two beautiful children, but when I look at myself in the mirror all I see is a freighted fifteen year old with a letter to her mother asking for help to loose weight and be a normal, happy young woman......
So my journey continues.... The scale has yet to move in three weeks.... I guess it's time to fighter harder and get my act together. The hardest part? Admitting to the world the harsh reality that I am overweight....That is my first step...Stop hiding and taking responsibility for my weight and who i am at this very moment and start doing something about it. So when those wedding pictures pop up on Facebook I will just have to cringe and realize the woman I see in those photos is who I am right at this moment and the only person that can make her change is me......